Here's things to look for, to get the best candidate possible:
1. Rebel flag stickers on the back of their raised Toyota truck.
2. Eagle/American flag tatoos on their bicep/forearm.
3. Count the 'fuckin's out of their conversation you overhear. If it persists at a rate of one per sentence - go for it!
4. Southern accents
5. Bush/Cheney '04 bumper stickers.
6. If you hear Country music - this should be the largest giveaway. Now if you hear Alan Jackson's 9-11 album... This is your best chances of a recruit.
7. Crosses... in any form. I've found that even the now so ever popular hot topic iron cross yield a 50/50 chance of producing a prime candidate
8. Look for chewing tobacco under the lip, or even better - look for circular objects in the back of their jeans.
9. Flannels with cutoff sleeves
10. Hunting camoflague or any non-military camo you can find. The envy is already there.
11. NASCAR - if they like FAST CARS AND FAST WOMEN (make sure to ask them that) let them know that Humvees and other military automobiles are pretty fast. Don't mention anything about IEDs please.
Well, good luck and good hunting!
I will sit here watching the board all day awaiting your tally marks.
And remember what our good president said:
Paraphrase that for them to your best abilities. It should help yield better results.This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day. Yet, we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.
Thank you. Good night, and God bless America.
NOW - GO AND TUG ON SOME HEART STRINGS AND HELP US BUY THESE PEOPLE A ONE-WAY TICKET TO THE MIDDLE EAST. WE NEED OUR FINEST TO REPRESENT US OVER THERE. HELP ME AND MY CAUSE AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WE WILL TURN AVERAGE CITIZENS INTO MARTYRS.